Practice what you preach

I’ve quoted before along the lines of, other people’s opinions of you don’t determine your worth. While I wholeheartedly believe this… why is it so hard to live it?

Why do other people’s opinions dictate our responses/reactions so much?

Shoot, why does other people’s anything influence our lives?

Let them judge you.

Let them misunderstand you.

Let them gossip about you.

Absolutely zero of those opinions are your problem.

Stay true to you, and in doing such:

Stay kind.

Stay committed to love.

Be free in your authenticity.

No matter what they do or say, don’t you even for a moment doubt your worth or the beauty of your truth.

Keep on keepin’ on.

You cannot force someone to respect you, but you can refuse to be disrespected.

Given my upbringing it is a constant battle in gauging adequate responses to events that may not appear traumatic to others but are far outside of my window of tolerance and my reaction can be labelled as unnecessary or far beyond what they would do themselves… but that’s the difference between me and you.

You’ve spent exactly zero seconds living my life.

While every person fights their own battles, even if you fight a similar situation, you will never be mentally the same as another individual in the same situation. Remember how we are all unique? That applies to trauma too. You can have 4 siblings grow up in the same hostile, neglectful childhood and end up with 4 absolutely different adults, perhaps they all struggle in mental health but they all struggle in different areas. There is no one size fits all brain. Two people can witness the same event and walk away feeling two opposite ways about it.

So please, before you judge someone for being upset over something consider the fact that it is 100% outside of your lane to discredit someone else’s feelings towards anything. 

Before you immediately stake defense on a situation, stop yourself and think. This is how I feel because of what I know, what I was raised around, what I have been taught, but that is not necessarily the same as this other individual. 

You will never regret choosing kindness and understanding over winning or fighting your way to win the title of “right”. 

You cannot decide what someone else is allowed to be hurt over.

You cannot decide when someone else can feel sad.

You cannot decide when someone else feels anything

You may only decide what you do with that information.

Instead of trying to convince someone they are wrong in how they feel, share how you feel, what has lead you to feeling this way, what can either of you do to help the situation? How can we learn? How can we make this better for everyone?

You have to be willing to look outside yourself if you would like to make an impact.

Don’t call yourself a friend if you can’t support your friend’s struggles.

Don’t call yourself a friend if you are only a part of the friendship to keep yourself afloat via constant unreciprocated attention, encouragement, etc.

Friendships are meant to be equal. To be a friend is to be a part of a team. You cannot function as a team if both players are after vastly different goals that clash with each other.

Most important, know when to call it quits.


Know when you are receiving more damage than comfort.

Know when your time has run its course.

Know when you are no longer viewed as a person of value.

Know when you are not a key component but merely an accessory.

If you feel it, deal with it.

Speak your truth, always.

Speak for yourself.

Advocate for who you are and how you feel.

No one knows you as well as you do. 

Don’t let yourself down.

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