7 things that change when you have a baby

I have touched on some first time mom stigma in a previous post but I’m going to shift over to some facts on real life changes that happen when you have a baby.

And surprise, they aren’t all bad!

  • 1) You have a get out of any event necessary token. Which honestly is an introverts dream come true. My favorite, “we can’t make it, the baby doesn’t want to.” I honestly don’t know many, if any, parents who have not used their infant as a “please don’t make me get out of my pajamas today” pass. I will add that I don’t condone the use of your infant (without an actual issue) to avoid an event you have previously RSVP’d yes to and are now not feelin’ it. You made a commitment, go get ’em.
  • 2) You don’t have to go anywhere alone ever again! You’ve got a mini go-getter who will proudly amp you up to leave the house at any given moment. The store? SURE! The end of the driveway and back? WHY NOT?!

  • 3) Your house will simultaneously be very clean and very messy. You can’t let the baby roll around in a dirty house, let wires be anywhere, leave anything on any surface below 4+ feet. Buuuut, you will also somehow find 80% of your belongings in the empty bathtub because it makes a cool sound when they toss them in. My floors are clean, okay? Don’t open any drawers.

  • 4) Nobody cares what you wear anymore as long as you have socks on your baby 24/7 – 365. What’s up with that? That’s the first thing anyone wants to mention to me in public… OPE, SOMEONE’S NOT WEARING SOOOOCKKKKS. No, ma’am, he’s not. For a few reasons… he rips them off and I never find them again, he tries to eat them, we have lost the match to all of them. I totally get this if it’s a toddler running around in the store on the ground completely barefoot but his feet don’t touch the ground right now so we’re all set.

  • 5) You have someone who is always super stoked to see you, no matter if they just saw you thirty seconds ago. I used to think how excited my dogs were when I came home was the best thing ever and then I saw my baby excited to see me and nope, not even close, babies are s’cute.

  • 6) All of the stuff you have critiqued in the store regarding babies, telling yourself you’d never waste that kind of money on something that simple… Hahaha, in the world of instant gratification and Amazon night-shopping, you now own every weird doohickey guaranteed to help your baby sleep for more than an hour straight, make breastfeeding less like endless razor blades, and all of the brain enriching black and white patterned whatevers the internet suggests next. They get you. They get you where it hurts. Bye dollars.

  • 7) Your heart physically FEELS different. The insane amount of love you have for this tiny potato you just met a few days ago.. It’s wild. It keeps getting wilder. And then they fill your car with spilled milk, dump a container of puffs, lose every remote in the house and throw their cup on the floor 47 times per minute from the highchair and your eye twitches a little… but you still love them so much.

Seriously, they’re great.

I mean, if kids are your thing.

I fully support an invested cat or dog parent as well.

Same vibes, you do you.

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